No resistance, no attachments, no judgements.
Today was the funeral for Margarita Sorondo (R.I.P.). Margarita is the mother of Fino, who is my dad’s best friend & one of my favorite people in the whole world. Fino once described a spiritual theory to me that always stuck with me. One day he said to me “Anjuli, do you know what the key to happiness is? No resistance, no attachments & no judgements. If we can be free of all of these things, we will find happiness.” While I am not sure how to attain this superior state of existence, somehow, I find myself trying to define what each one means to ME.
To be free of resistance, is to allow things to happen as they should. To be in touch with the subtle undercurrents of our life experiences & allow deeper purpose to take place without the presence of fear or skepticism.
To be free of attachments reflects some of the Buddhist core principles I’ve been studying this past month. Typically when you stand before a Buddhist alter, the alter is surrounded with vibrant flowers. These flowers are usually offerings made by people who wish to show their gratitude for the teachings of the Buddha. However, these flowers signify “detachment” within the culture. It does so by illustrating how we should appreciate & enjoy beauty while it remains, but once it dies, we must learn to let go & move forward…free of attachment.
To be free of judgement would mean we wouldn’t attach a feeling too closely to an action, no matter what it is. I feel like asking someone to be free of judgement is just another way of saying they should have compassion. Not just for others, but for themselves.
i live & breathe this. a message to those who follow my shit.
The past couple of years has been an impressive & intimidating journey of love, loss & relentless pursuit of my childhood dreams. I can’t even begin to describe the growth without sounding too familiar to some inspirational typography on a blog you visit regularly. All I know is I’m not the woman who began this odyssey. Nope. I am so much better than her.
A self professed loner when I started this voyage, I went from pretty unknown in my city, to pretty well known for being a clever singer/rapstress. I set some musical theories in motion, frightened to expose the very fabric from which I came. Turns out there are quite a few people who sit in the park, smoking on a J with someone they really like & are afraid to admit it. Amidst the smoke, it seems a fan base was born.
After pouring my blood & guts onto two full length mixtapes titled “Starvation Vol. 1 & 2” (named by my older brother, who insisted my hunger for my ambitions was a key component in connecting with people) the response was overwhelming. I was offered 4 different independent record deals, all of which I declined. I guess you could say I was holding off for something better. For whatever reason, the underground hip hop community was the first to embrace me. I worked with people like Noreaga, Busta Rhymes, Statik Selektah & Termanology, Fame from M.O.P… It wasn’t unbelievable, I just began to question what kind of career I was building.
I was doing lots of live shows throughout Miami, featured on all the top blogs in Miami (shout out the305.com for debuting Vol. 1 & Ashley O for Debuting Vol.2) & quite a few outside of Miami. My last mixtape Starvation 2 was a monstrocious undertaking. I worked with 5 producers, 6 mixing engineers, a handful of musicians & background vocalists & a few rappers I respect. After all of that effort, something was still artistically unfulfilled or “absent”. As an artist, the music I make is whatever I think is dope. I don’t ask people what they think, I don’t listen to whats hot. I’ve NEVER been that way. I’ve always selected production that I fucked with if I didn’t create my own. I would rap over J. Dilla beats because, shit, I love freaking J. Dilla. I love reggae, so I wrote about spirituality & my man doing me wrong. With reggae its like, say whatever the fuck you want & its still good vibes, which is what I love. My obsession with acoustic records inspired me to pen songs like “Fish In The Water”, “Thin Line” & “I Wish”. I don’t listen to people with musical rules cause honestly, they don’t know what the fuck they are talking about. The only rule I have is, don’t suck.
After writing 30+ new records after Vol. 2, I decided to explore. I moved to New York for some inspiration & wrote a shit load of records out there. Yup I said I moved to New York for inspiration, cause I believe in moving like a vagabond when the time permits. I’d see girls on the train with their pimps & I’d write about it. I’d see homeless veterans on the train stand up out of nowhere & preach about the economy. For whatever reason, I needed to see all of that shit. If I didn’t, I don’t know if I would have reached this point.
As of two weeks ago, I finalized a deal in Miami with a Grammy Award winning engineer, to record my FIRST ALBUM. (no more mix tapes, let us pray) I don’t care how sentimental it sounds, this whole ordeal is a complete dream come true. Unbelievable musicians, top notch studio, A+ everything. And most importantly, all songs produced & written by yours truly. I am getting the opportunity not only to continue using my skills as a singer/rapper & songwriter, but also expose myself as a musician who has studied her craft & knows her shit. My album will definitely be released this year. I am half thrilled / half shitting my pants.
To anyone who has shown me love & support of any kind, I arrived at this moment with persistence because of you. To those who threatened to withhold me from my dreams, it is actually YOU who instilled strength. You’ve made this moment uncomplicated for me to enjoy. I am dedicating every morsel of emotion in order to bear my soul in song form.